I murdered the dance floor call the cops
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
