i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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