i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just want to make out with him forever
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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