shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize