do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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