He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
