I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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