Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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