i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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