I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it glows. i had to have it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
