Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
