dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
All I want is dick and wine.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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