There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
