The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize