call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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