If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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