So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
