I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
