I wish I only lived at night.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
