I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I got her a Nickelback box set.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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