Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
