she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
