remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
