He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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