Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
