I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I love you. Go after that dick
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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