Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
