No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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