rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
