I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
