You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize