i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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