weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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