Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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