Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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