I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
