Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
