She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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