none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
