i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
