drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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