She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
