Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
