You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
