If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
