Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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