so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
