...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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