How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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