Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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