Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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