i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
