I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
