This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I can't turn off my feet"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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