every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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