Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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