I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
