Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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