Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
