If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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