This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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