Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
