The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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