If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Shame is for Republicans.
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