But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
