Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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