well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
