Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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