It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
