he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
