remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
