why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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