I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
