Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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