I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
