I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
