it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
